Sorry mom,I can't do that for.Even for your birthday.

11 January 2012..


Happy birthday mom.Selamat hari jadi mak. Sanah Helwah Ya Ummi.. I'm so grateful dah I am still able to wish you for your birthday. Jugak bersyukur sebab mak berada dalam keadaan sihat walafiat. Thats enough to make me happy since I'm so far from you.


Yes..Our big family might say, kakak ni anak mak abah yang paling baik. Dengar cakap mak abah, jarang melawan, rajin...bla bla bla.. But you know me the best mak..


You know that I'll do everything for you right? Anything. Everything. From the smallest to the biggest thing.

• Kalau kita pergi pasar, or pergi shopping, kakak akan angkat semua beg plastik tu. Kakak taknak bagi mak berat berat angkat. Kesian. Dahlah mak paling rendah dalam family. (Walaupun mak selalu claim mak lagi tinggi daripada kakak kan) kalau angkat byk barang,kesian. Lagipun kakak nak mak enjoy shopping. Or pilih ikan. Genting genting jari kakak pun takpe.

• Sepenat mana pun kakak, kakak akan temankan mak pergi program or mesyuarat mak yang boring tu even sampai tengah malam. Kakak risau mak penat. Risau kalau mak drive sorang sorang. Dahla mak tu suka drive sambil tidur. And Alhamdulillah,since kakak boleh drive, kakak banyak drive-kan mak. So,you can concentrate on your works.

         Ingat tak suatu hari tu, balik dari mesyuarat, kereta kita belakang kereta mayat cina ni. truck terbuka. Belakang tu ada apek tua duduk kat kerusi.Tengahnya ada keranda. Mak suruh kakak potong sebab lambat sangat kereta mayat cina tu. Masa kakak potong nampak driver dia pakai baju merah muka macam melayu sikit. Lepas tu kita pun sambung bercerita bersembang. 10 minit lepas tu kita ada kat belakang kereta mayat tu balik. The very same kereta mayat. Apek tua, keranda, driver baju merah. Masing masing pelik. Mak kata mungkin kita tak perasan kereta mayat tu potong kita masa kita tengah rancak bersembang. Then kita potong balik kereta mayat tu twice! And again,we always stuck behind it. Sampai kali ke-empat tu kita make sure kita betul-betul potong dia and make sure its behind us all the time sampai tak nampak lagi dah. Masalahnya kita bukannya takut. Last2 kita dua gelak gila gila sampai keluar air mata! Even until now i dont know why we laughed!


The other time,when you want to go to your friend's daughter wedding but abah had works on that day. Abah never let you drive in KL.Paling paling Putrajaya je. But you want to go so bad. So I offer myself to drive you. I'd never been to that place. Tapi bila abah tanya tau tak jalan nak pergi,kakak iyekan je. Abah cakap ikut jalan ni.. jalan tu.. kakak angguk je buat faham and tau. Padahal satu pun tak masuk telinga kakak. Kakak redah je. And Alhamdulillah, sampai je kita tanpa sesat. Hebat kan kakak?

• Mak sangat manja kalau kakak balik cuti dari Mesir. Hari hari balik kerja mesti nak kakak ambik. Kalau lambat sikit mesti mak merajuk. Tapi kakak lagi pandai,kalau kakak rasa kakak dah lambat,kakak akan bawak diniy sekali,mesti mak tak jadi marah. Breakfast pun nak hari hari dengan kakak. Pukul 9-10 pagi mak mesti call. Suruh datang dalam masa 10minit. Dahlah masa tu sure sangat kakak tidur lagi. Tapi terpaksalah datang jugak kan dalam tak mandi tak gosok gigi dengan baju tidur pegi office mak just untuk sarapan sama sama.

• Kuku mak memang kakaklah yang potongkan. Walaupun kuku tu dah pendek,nak jugak potong. Tu sebab kakak marah,dah pendek nak potong ape lagi. Sekarang opah pun dah berjangkit,asal nampak muka kakak suruh kakak potong kuku. Tapi kakak memang suka potong kuku orang pun. Kadang kadang tu cari orang siapa yang nak potong kuku.

• Kalau kakak datang pejabat mak, sebab tak tahan kakak merengek rengek, mak akan suruh kakak taipkan kertas kerja mak. At least i had something to do to shut me up. Hehe.. Sorry mak.

• Kakak suka ikut mak pergi hotel for food tasting. Because i can order whatever i want. Yes, because of mak and abah's job, since i was little I've been to hundreds of hotels all over Malaysia. Kecuali Sabah Sarawak. Selalu ponteng sekolah sebab mak memang kalau boleh taknak tinggalkan kitorang.

• Yeah, I know you know how hard my heart is. Kakak dengar je mak and abah sembang pasal kakak. Masa kakak tidur, abah peluk kakak, mak kat sebelah kakak, kakak dengar je abah cakap  "Anak manja abah sorang ni, jarinya panjang panjang..mulutnya sobang sobang. Muncung je bila merajuk" sambil pegang pegang jari and mulut. Sobang? sobang tu mulut muncung kalau merajuk. Hahaha. Diorang hyperbola je tu. Then mak sambung " Walaupun kakak ni paling lembut cakapnya, suka gelak,sikit sikit gelak,sikit sikit gelak, tapi hatinya keras. Memang susah nak ubah. Egonya tinggi. Ikut abanglah." Abah senyap je.. "Kalau dia merajuk tu,pujuklah macamana pun. Susah betul. Dulu dia taknak cakap dengan abang dulu lama. Dekat seminggu. Abang pujuk dia taknak. Lepas tu abang marah balik and abang merajuk,dia buat tak tau je. Abang pujuk dia balik barulah dia nak cakap dengan abang. Dasyat..dasyat.." sambil pukul pukul manja. Tapi sakit tau bah! terpaksa tahan.. tahan... pura pura masih tido. Sorry bah,itu masa kakak kecik, lepas tu abah marah kakak atas sebab yang tak betul, sebab dengar cakap orang luar. Memanglah kakak marah. Kakak ni kan anak abah. You should trust me.

• Ada sekali tu kakak gaduh dengan adik sebab baju kurung. Then kakak merajuk, taknak pakai baju kurung tu. Tapi emak menggunakan kuasa veto sebagai emak suruh kakak pakai jugak baju tu. Mana aci guna kuasa veto mak!!!

• Balik summer yang lepas lah kakak paling tak boleh lupa. Mak bagi your backstabber @ your ex-bestfriend @ your ex-staff join your programme kat hotel mana tah kakak lupa. Itu kakak tak kisah lagi. Just don't let her in front of me because I might curse her right there. Tapi masa kat bilik, mak suruh makan sama dengan dia. Hell NO! Mak mungkin dah maafkan dia. Tapi kakak tak. Takkan. Kakak takkan lupa apa yang dia buat kat mak. And how dia buat seorang anak yang jauh dari Malaysia risau macam orang gila dekat mak. I'll never forget that. I dont even want to look her in her face. Even I once considered her as my second mom. I hate her with all my heart. Mak, we argued for about an hour. Abah just kept silent. Because he knew how i felt.So u said at least I could greet her. Mom, I never want to talk to that old lady! You kinda begged me for that. So i said yes. Salam je. Thats all I could do. And I got out of our hotel room and cried. Because I didn't want to touch that hand of a person that once hurt my mom. You found me crying and you said how proud you were of me, and you understand i acted like that because I love you so much and hugged me. That was the only reason why i was abled to 'salam' her. But thats all I did. Dengan muka ketat, salam dia, biarkan dia cakap sorang sorang. I didn't utter a word. Satu soalan dia pun aku tak jawab. The next week,she invited us family to her son's wedding at Teluk Intan. I went to Teluk Intan, but I didn't go to the wedding. I asked abah to drop me & adik at steak house, and fetch us after the wedding. Mak dah tak berani nak paksa. Abah ok je dengan plan kitorang. Siap bagi duit belanja lagi!

I'm so sorry mak. Thats the only thing I can't do for you. Ever. I can never forgive the person that hurts you. Even for your birthday.. Happy birthday mom.