Please,Thank You, Sorry & Ego

Please, thank you, sorry. These are 3 words that are taught to us since we were small. Might be simple, but these 3 words can give a huge impact in our social life. It shows our manner, our upbringing, and how we deal with different situations in daily life.

Anyhow, the impact of these words vary on how we say it. Some people over-used it. Some people avoid it's usage at all. 

Over-used

I think, everything in this world has it's limit. Yeah, for sure. No matter how madly in love you are with something,someone,anything, if they're shoved to your face every day, every minute, every second, the affection will surely fades. That's why there's a Malay proverb quoting "Sayang isteri tinggal tinggalkan". Direct translation will be " Love your wife by leaving her"  Temporarily. Not to separate as in divorce. And why is that? So the love will get stronger. Okay, let me give you another example. Let's say you loveeeee butter prawn. But what if you have butter prawn as your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and supper. I'm 100% sure by the 3rd day, you'll hate it.

 The affection is gone. Same goes to 'Please, Thank You, & Sorry' Nope! Scratch "Thank You"  . In my opinion, under whatever the circumstances, we have to say thank you. You know, I have a housemate who'll say thank you in everything.I mean like EVERYTHING. Even if I ask her to help me with something, buy a chocolate per se, she'll send it to my room and says : "Intan,here's your chocolate, and your balance. Thank you!" She's the one who's helping me and she's the one who says thank you? That's a big slap on my face!! But it's a good manner right? Anak sapaaaa la ni sopan sangat!! What about the word please? I think most girl really know how to use this word. Just say 'please..', and the work is done! Nak gedik sikit, you can prolong the harakat 'pleaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~' Tadaaaaaa!! Who dares to say no??? But! But! But! 'Pleaaaaseeeeeeeeeee...' is totally different from 'Puhh leaaaseee'. One is persuading  and the other is annoyed expression.

Now we've come the most important word. Sorry. For people who always use this word, they must think 'Sorry is a magical word that can cures everything'. Nope.That is so very wrong. In so many level. What's done is done. It can never been undone. Unless you can erase selected memory. Just because you say the word 'sorry' everything is back to normal? So, in other words, I can slap you, and say 'sorry!' and we're friends again? What about I take a knife,stab this annoying girl that I've hated for my entire life and "Oopss, I did it again! Sorry!" Is that acceptable? And what if i repeat the same mistake over and over again and utter the word sorry for everytime, but at the same time make no effort to change, is that kind of apology accepted? No right? So you see now? The word is losing it's power because you over-used it. It's meaningless.


Under-used

I admit, I'm one of the people who rarely say the words 'Please & Sorry". But I can say thank you. Because I really appreciate what people do for me. But because of the overwhelming power of the words please and sorry, I'm afraid to use them. I don't like to say please because it's a proof that I'm weak. I need help. I need somebody to assist me. It's like begging people to do something that I'm incapable of. What a shame. What if after we 'Pleaseeeee..pleaseeee...' , the answer is no? Kita dah rendahkan maruah kita untuk mintak tolong, sekali kena reject mentah mentah. Mana nak letak muka ni?? But there's always one person that i can't say no to when that person says "Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". It should be past-tense. Because it was in the past.

I hardly say sorry because, like any other normal people, I hate to admit I'm wrong even though i know i am. Usually,I'll show it in another way, denoting I'm really super duper sorry.I always imagine, when i admit my mistake, and I say sorry to someone, that someone will ignore me. Yet,make me feel bad. And not accepting the apology. Wow,that's hurt! To say sorry itself need a tonnes of courage, what else being ignored. I can't take that much loads. I know it's not something that I should be proud of. And I also realize that, once i make a mistake I have to do whatever it takes to correct it. That's the price I have to pay. But the journey to get the apology is challenging. And sometimes it's not worth the mistake.

Some people say I have a huge ego. That's why it's hard for me to say sorry. And also to forgive people. Because I don't want my 'sorry' to be cheap. And I don't want people to do me wrong repeatedly. 
Some people say I actually have no idea how to express my feelings. So I reflect it on my actions. I think i have a little bit of both. Anyway, we can never be a judge of ourselves. It's people-around-us job.



The thing is we should be subtle. Give those words (Please, Thank You,& Sorry) their right to be used wisely and correctly because only then, they can give the optimum effect! They may not correct everything, but at least they'll make things better. 


Till then,

intan.